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Train humans the animal trainer way...
Posted:Sep 5, 2007 1:09 pm
Last Updated:Jul 5, 2019 5:00 am
175584 Views

Many people use the wrong technique to train others. This animal training technique works, as many have shown. A repeat of a previous post to save lots of pain and suffering:

Humans are animals and the methods of animal trainers work on people. So reinforce good behaviors and ignore the bad. Nagging does not work. Makes sense to me! Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative:

What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage
By AMY SUTHERLAND
AS I wash dishes at the kitchen sink, my husband paces behind me, irritated. "Have you seen my keys?" he snarls, then huffs out a loud sigh and stomps from the room with our dog, Dixie, at his heels, anxious over her favorite human's upset.

In the past I would have been right behind Dixie. I would have turned off the faucet and joined the hunt while trying to soothe my husband with bromides like, "Don't worry, they'll turn up." But that only made him angrier, and a simple case of missing keys soon would become a full-blown angst-ridden drama starring the two of us and our poor nervous dog.

Now, I focus on the wet dish in my hands. I don't turn around. I don't say a word. I'm using a technique I learned from a dolphin trainer.

I love my husband. He's well read, adventurous and does a hysterical rendition of a northern Vermont accent that still cracks me up after 12 years of marriage.

But he also tends to be forgetful, and is often tardy and mercurial. He hovers around me in the kitchen asking if I read this or that piece in The New Yorker when I'm trying to concentrate on the simmering pans. He leaves wadded tissues in his wake. He suffers from serious bouts of spousal deafness but never fails to hear me when I mutter to myself on the other side of the house. "What did you say?" he'll shout.

These minor annoyances are not the stuff of separation and divorce, but in sum they began to dull my love for Scott. I wanted – needed – to nudge him a little closer to perfect, to make him into a mate who might annoy me a little less, who wouldn't keep me waiting at restaurants, a mate who would be easier to love.

So, like many wives before me, I ignored a library of advice books and set about improving him. By nagging, of course, which only made his behavior worse: he'd drive faster instead of slower; shave less frequently, not more; and leave his reeking bike garb on the bedroom floor longer than ever.

We went to a counselor to smooth the edges off our marriage. She didn't understand what we were doing there and complimented us repeatedly on how well we communicated. I gave up. I guessed she was right – our union was better than most – and resigned myself to stretches of slow-boil resentment and occasional sarcasm.

Then something magical happened. For a book I was writing about a school for exotic animal trainers, I started commuting from Maine to California, where I spent my days watching students do the seemingly impossible: teaching hyenas to pirouette on command, cougars to offer their paws for a nail clipping, and baboons to skateboard.

I listened, rapt, as professional trainers explained how they taught dolphins to flip and elephants to paint. Eventually it hit me that the same techniques might work on that stubborn but lovable species, the American husband.

The central lesson I learned from exotic animal trainers is that I should reward behavior I like and ignore behavior I don't. After all, you don't get a sea lion to balance a ball on the end of its nose by nagging. The same goes for the American husband.

Back in Maine, I began thanking Scott if he threw one dirty shirt into the hamper. If he threw in two, I'd kiss him. Meanwhile, I would step over any soiled clothes on the floor without one sharp word, though I did sometimes kick them under the bed. But as he basked in my appreciation, the piles became smaller.

I was using what trainers call "approximations," rewarding the small steps toward learning a whole new behavior. You can't expect a baboon to learn to flip on command in one session, just as you can't expect an American husband to begin regularly picking up his dirty socks by praising him once for picking up a single sock. With the baboon you first reward a hop, then a bigger hop, then an even bigger hop. With Scott the husband, I began to praise every small act every time: if he drove just a mile an hour slower, tossed one pair of shorts into the hamper, or was on time for anything.

I also began to analyze my husband the way a trainer considers an exotic animal. Enlightened trainers learn all they can about a species, from anatomy to social structure, to understand how it thinks, what it likes and dislikes, what comes easily to it and what doesn't. For example, an elephant is a herd animal, so it responds to hierarchy. It cannot jump, but can stand on its head. It is a vegetarian.

The exotic animal known as Scott is a loner, but an alpha male. So hierarchy matters, but being in a group doesn't so much. He has the balance of a gymnast, but moves slowly, especially when getting dressed. Skiing comes naturally, but being on time does not. He's an omnivore, and what a trainer would call food-driven.

Once I started thinking this way, I couldn't stop. At the school in California, I'd be scribbling notes on how to walk an emu or have a wolf accept you as a pack member, but I'd be thinking, "I can't wait to try this on Scott."

On a field trip with the students, I listened to a professional trainer describe how he had taught African crested cranes to stop landing on his head and shoulders. He did this by training the leggy birds to land on mats on the ground. This, he explained, is what is called an "incompatible behavior," a simple but brilliant concept.

Rather than teach the cranes to stop landing on him, the trainer taught the birds something else, a behavior that would make the undesirable behavior impossible. The birds couldn't alight on the mats and his head simultaneously.

At home, I came up with incompatible behaviors for Scott to keep him from crowding me while I cooked. To lure him away from the stove, I piled up parsley for him to chop or cheese for him to grate at the other end of the kitchen island. Or I'd set out a bowl of chips and salsa across the room. Soon I'd done it: no more Scott hovering around me while I cooked.

I followed the students to SeaWorld San Diego, where a dolphin trainer introduced me to least reinforcing syndrome (L. R. S.). When a dolphin does something wrong, the trainer doesn't respond in any way. He stands still for a few beats, careful not to look at the dolphin, and then returns to work. The idea is that any response, positive or negative, fuels a behavior. If a behavior provokes no response, it typically dies away.

In the margins of my notes I wrote, "Try on Scott!"

It was only a matter of time before he was again tearing around the house searching for his keys, at which point I said nothing and kept at what I was doing. It took a lot of discipline to maintain my calm, but results were immediate and stunning. His temper fell far shy of its usual pitch and then waned like a fast-moving storm. I felt as if I should throw him a mackerel.

Now he's at it again; I hear him banging a closet door shut, rustling through papers on a chest in the front hall and thumping upstairs. At the sink, I hold steady. Then, sure enough, all goes quiet. A moment later, he walks into the kitchen, keys in hand, and says calmly, "Found them."

Without turning, I call out, "Great, see you later."

Off he goes with our much-calmed pup.

After two years of exotic animal training, my marriage is far smoother, my husband much easier to love. I used to take his faults personally; his dirty clothes on the floor were an affront, a symbol of how he didn't care enough about me. But thinking of my husband as an exotic species gave me the distance I needed to consider our differences more objectively.

I adopted the trainers' motto: "It's never the animal's fault." When my training attempts failed, I didn't blame Scott. Rather, I brainstormed new strategies, thought up more incompatible behaviors and used smaller approximations. I dissected my own behavior, considered how my actions might inadvertently fuel his. I also accepted that some behaviors were too entrenched, too instinctive to train away. You can't stop a badger from digging, and you can't stop my husband from losing his wallet and keys.

PROFESSIONALS talk of animals that understand training so well they eventually use it back on the trainer. My animal did the same. When the training techniques worked so beautifully, I couldn't resist telling my husband what I was up to. He wasn't offended, just amused. As I explained the techniques and terminology, he soaked it up. Far more than I realized.

Last fall, firmly in middle age, I learned that I needed braces. They were not only humiliating, but also excruciating. For weeks my gums, teeth, jaw and sinuses throbbed. I complained frequently and loudly. Scott assured me that I would become used to all the metal in my mouth. I did not.

One morning, as I launched into yet another tirade about how uncomfortable I was, Scott just looked at me blankly. He didn't say a word or acknowledge my rant in any way, not even with a nod.

I quickly ran out of steam and started to walk away. Then I realized what was happening, and I turned and asked, "Are you giving me an L. R. S.?" Silence. "You are, aren't you?"

He finally smiled, but his L. R. S. has already done the trick. He'd begun to train me, the American wife.
46 Comments
Being good in bed...
Posted:Sep 11, 2007 11:39 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2019 8:35 am
170831 Views

My view is that the media and porn have sold people a false notion of what makes good sex! Being young and pretty or handsome is nice, but if you do not have the right stuff then the sex will be subpar.

So what makes a woman good in bed for me? Many things!

1. A sexy attitude is the key thing! She has to like herself, enjoy her body and enjoy mine. She needs to like kissing, stroking and playing. She needs some energy, some flexibility and the desire to enjoy sex and share pleasure for as long as we have! Being a passive corpse is deadening...

2. A little technique is great, but she does not have to memorize the Kama Sutra or try ninety positions. Five or six positions will do fine...

3. Kissing is important as it expresses affection and lust, and leads to intimacy...

4. Oral sex is fab for expressing acceptance of your lover's sex organ and for natural lubrication.

5. Stroking each other and using a vibrator can be very fun activities which transform foreplay into orgasms!

6. Being open to play is great. Being creative and trying new things can be terrific fun. For example, adding a vibrator on her clit while having intercourse can transform the sex into something even more amazing.

7. Having the woman suck on the man's nipples can be a turnon and show she is fun and not stuck on stereotypes about human sex behavior. Dirty talk, moaning and noises can be fun...

8. Having the patience to keep playing even after a few orgasms can allow both to really get into the sex. There are lots of fun things to try: G spot massage, fisting, standing up, using the bathroom counter top for a support surface, etc. Sometimes I enjoy playing with food, a dildo, foot massage, or trying different lubes...

9. A sexy woman is also willing to touch her own clit while we are having sex, or to masturbate in front of me. She also likes to watch me touch myself. Sex is best when the inhibitions are shed with the clothing...

10. Anal sex can be fun, with lube, taking things slowly and not being too pushy until the partner relaxes into it. Condoms make things more sanitary and safer. Have not yet had a female use a strapon on me, but that might be fun sometime! Anal is not a must, but only for those who enjoy it...

11. With the proper desire and attitude great sex is shared! Having a hot attractive bod and pretty face is great, but having a sexy attitude and hot desire for your partner is the key!
21 Comments
Kegel exercises for men and women!
Posted:Sep 7, 2007 7:59 am
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2019 7:47 am
169498 Views

Another important educational post worth rereading, as the sex life you improve is your own!

The PC muscles need strengthening for men and women to have the best sex! A repeat of an earlier blog to remind everyone to kegel regularly!

Kegel exercises serve to tone and strengthen the pubococcygeus or "PC" muscles which form the floor of the pelvis. The health of these muscles plays a vitally important role in sexual arousal and climax, as well as in other aspects of bodily functioning.

Why should men do kegel exercises regularly?

kegel exercises increase the bloodflow to the genital area, and so support sexual arousal mechanisms.

kegel exercises strengthen and tone the muscles that are involved in ejaculation, and so men who Kegel can, if they do some additional work with themselves, gain greater control over the timing of their ejaculations.

kegel exercises prevent incontinence and other problems that are often associated with aging.
Why should women do kegel exercises regularly?

kegel exercises increase the bloodflow to the genital area, and so support sexual arousal mechanisms.

kegel exercises strengthen and tone the muscles of the vaginal canal, and so women who Kegel can, if vaginal stimulation is their choice, and if they do some additional work on themselves, improve their capacity to orgasm by means of vaginal play, in terms of both the intensity and the frequency of their orgasming.

kegel exercises are essential to the treatment of sexual difficulties such as vaginismus and dyspareunia (pain on vaginal intercourse).

kegel exercises prevent incontinence, prolapses, and many other problems of the pelvic floor that are often associated with aging.

kegel exercises strengthen and tone the musculature of the pelvic area in a way that can make vaginal delivery during childbirth easier.
How do I find my PC muscles?

go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet (men, it is also a good idea to sit for this).

in the middle of your stream of urine, stop and start the stream several times. The muscles you use to do this are your PC muscles. At first, you may find that you are also squeezing your anal muscles; as you become experienced with kegel exercises, try to separate out the muscle groups that you are able to exercise by squeezing.
How do I do regular kegel exercises?

now that you have located your PC muscles, you can exercise them while your bladder is completely empty.

first, try squeezing your PC muscles as hard as you can for a count of three seconds. Then let them relax. To begin with, see how many times you can do this before the muscles feel tired.

now figure out a suitable exercise routine just as you would if you were trying to tone and strengthen a different muscle group by going to the gym every other day. For example, suppose you start by being able to do only five strong squeezes; try doing three sets of five once or twice a day for a week, and then try increasing this to three sets of eight strong squeezes.

if you work up to three sets of thirty or more strong squeezes, you are probably healthy enough for most purposes, and need only to maintain this level of fitness by doing these three sets four times a week (instead of once or twice a day).

we also recommend that you experiment by varying the type and timing of the PC squeezing you do as you train these muscles: slow clenches, many quick flutters, and so on. This will make you more familiar with these muscles ‒ notice also when your abdominal muscles or your anal muscles feel like they also want to join in the exercise.

remember, you should try to separate out kegel exercises from anal squeezing. If you are in doubt, go back a refind your PC muscle while urinating.

once you are skilled at kegel exercises, you should be able to do them without anyone else knowing what you are doing... boring meetings at work, tedious lectures at conferences, and other daily events all become opportunities to work quietly on improving your sexual health!
7 Comments
Why stay if the sex is inadequate?
Posted:Nov 1, 2007 11:12 am
Last Updated:Nov 13, 2014 5:04 am
171153 Views

Many cannot seem to wrap their minds around the concept of a couple staying together even if the sex is not sufficient for one of the couple.

As I have thought about this subject over the last decade or so, allow me to explain.

I am not trying to sell anyone anything. I do not crave your endorsement or ask for approval or disapproval. There is no need to judge me or condemn me.

From what I see most marriages have inadequate sex for one or both partners after a period of time. Ask around and see. Many marriages have little or no sex. Some enjoy other activities and some do not.

My marriage has some sex, sometimes not for a week or two, then sometimes once or twice a week. I share many things values with my spouse. But I desire hot sex daily, and many types of sex that she is unwilling to do.

I have no reason to condemn or reject her just because she is different from me. I accept her as she is and have given up trying to convert her to my way of thinking.

I also recognize that some crave variety and some do not. Some are willing to take a risk and some are not.

While many will condemn me for seeking what is considered "cheating" or "adultery", one can also look at the situation from the opposite point of view. I stick with a woman who loves me and I love, despite the fact that she is not providing me with the sexual satisfaction I crave. I have sacrificed my desires for many years, to please her and to make sure our grew up in a stable household, which I believe is best to nurture a .

I also do not agree with those who espouse total honesty with a spouse as that only hurts the feelings of the non-cheating spouse. She knows I have "strayed" and has forgiven my transgressions; "don't ask, don't tell" is what we both prefer.

Those who wish to be less discreet are welcome to do so, but in my experience most people cannot handle the jealousy and fear.

While some will condemn my dishonesty, another viewpoint is that I must bear the guilt and the secrecy to preserve and protect an illusion that is comforting to my spouse. I do what she prefers, even though she refuses to do what I prefer.

Freud noted that many times in human affairs there are multiple reasons that explain actions. Things are "over-directed" to the same conclusion.

I will also note that I stay for the companionship, because I am used to the situation, we get along well, we share many things including a , and apart from the sex, many things are truly fine in our relationship.

One does not throw out a relationship that has only one failing, even if the failing is an important one like sex.

My cynical side also assumes that any other marriage would eventually also exhibit the same problem that monogamy engenders, boredom or a desire for variety of "strange" sex organs attached to a new partner.

Those who do not understand the above, please feel free to ignore it and withhold hostile rants. Those who can relate to what I am saying, feel free to express sympathetic sounds...
19 Comments
My distilled reasons for sex
Posted:Aug 6, 2008 5:17 am
Last Updated:Jun 23, 2019 12:42 pm
166288 Views

The 237 reasons given to have sex seemed to have many repetitions and variations on the same idea. So I have distilled them down to 50 reasons, including a few new ones I added based on my experience and observations:

50 distilled Reasons to have sex:

Hospitality: Eskimos lend a wife to a traveler;

To gossip about: To have something to tell or write about;

Curiosity: curious about new lover, new position, what feels like, new gender, non-intercourse (anal, oral), multiple partners, bigger dick.

Health: relieve tension, headache, cramps, “blue balls”, burn calories, exercise, improve prostate, help fall asleep, stay warm

Self emotional state: feel powerful, want attention, act out fantasy, feel older, feel younger, feel better about self, enjoy life, get over an ex lover, to lose inhibitions, end virgin status;

Revenge: to get back at cheating mate, hurt an enemy, give someone a STD, make someone else jealous;

Work: to get sex off brain, so can work more;

Coercion: fear physical injury unless comply, pressured, verbally harassed, felt too guilty to deny other’s request;

Impaired condition: unable to control self because drunk/drugged;

Sex addict: compelled to have sex for psych reasons;

Love: to express love and affection to partner, become one with partner, feel intimacy, share the pleasure;

Avoid other tasks: to avoid chores, change topic of conversation, stop nagging;

Break relationship: end your own or break up another’s;

Alter status: end virgin status, rebel against parents/teachers, closure on relationship, lower your adultfriendsfinding.net purity score;

Habit: expected to have sex with partner, so just do it;

Power: to dominate another, possess them, a conquest, submission or feel dominated;

Spiritual: to feel God, one with the universe, spiritual act, Tantric sex practices;

Obligated: feel duty to do it, married;

Punished: feel desire to be degraded and humiliated, or degrade other;

Pleasure: for fun, experiment with new positions or partners, for excitement or adventure;

Communicate: to say “sorry”, “thank you”, return a favor;

Celebration: for anniversary, birthday, for holiday, for big win;

Partner stealing: to trap someone, or steal another’s partner;

Sex identity validation: to reaffirm or test sexual orientation;

Reciprocate: to pay back for a fancy dinner, jewelry, gifts, money, to reward him for making me laugh;

Aroused: Aroused by partner’s looks, personality, good kisser, dancer, intelligence, humor, caresses

Challenge: A bet, competition among friends, dared, “out of league” success;

Mercy fuck: to lift their spirits, not want to disappoint them, help them forget problems ( “broken man” ) , feel sorry for problems;

Reproduction: want , ovulating, genetic imperative;

Royalty: need male heir to pass on royal line, leave ancestral house or business to an heir;

Partner pacify: keep partner happy, make partner spend time with you, partner insist;

Social status: fit in with friends, to brag, initiation rite, hurt rep if said no, be popular, sex with a celebrity, notch in your belt;

money: for money, job or promotion, casting couch, return a favor or be owed a favor;

Married: obligation, duty;

Bored: filling time, thing to do, just happened;

Reaffirm life: after funeral or 9/11 trauma to feel alive;

Going to war: to feel alive, leave offspring, not die a virgin;

To affect partner: To make partner desire you, make partner envious, make partner feel good, relaxed, or sexy;

Make-up sex: to reaffirm bond after fight or end an argument;

Artistic inspiration: Sought experience for writing, painting;

Retain potency: use it or lose it;

To improve skills: Practice with more experienced partner to learn new skills;

Acting: in porn, movies or theater;

Lost control: intended to just kiss and got carried away, raging hormones, or felt too “horny” to stop;

To Swing: To please partner by swinging, or to enjoy an alternative lifestyle.

To allow partner to be a voyeur: to let partner see you have sex with someone else for partner’s gratification.

Leader ordered: In a cult and the leader ordered the sex;

Testing powers: To see how many orgasms each person could have in a set time period;

Nostalgia: to recapture youthful feeling;

To be able to harm someone: have sex so you can ruin partner's reputation or injure your own, or transmit an STD;

Daily sex: Minister suggested to improve relationship.
9 Comments
Supreme Court
Posted:Sep 12, 2019 7:30 am
Last Updated:Sep 16, 2019 8:17 am
127 Views

The Supreme Court let a rule stand to prevent asylum seekers from El Salvador and Honduras be barred from seeking US asylum unless first asking for asylum in another country they pass through. This 7 to 2 decision is a rubber stamp of Trump's cruelty. Put into effect without the 30 day comment period, in violation of the APA.

There is still no bar to relief based on withholding removal, or UN convention against torture, so a merits hearing in Immigration Court may still be needed, with the possible delays.

Trump continues to create immoral law and the Supreme Court allows that to occur.

The prior law was in effect since at least 1980. The rule has not been finally decided but in the interim there is no injunction blocking the rule from applying until a trial decision.

This rule will not affect those flying directly from the alleged persecution country to the US. So the rich will not feel the adverse impact of this mean spirited regulation.

Another cruel policy from the evil ones who came up with caging and separating them from their parents.
0 Comments
The TV character
Posted:Sep 9, 2019 7:23 am
Last Updated:Sep 12, 2019 7:19 am
253 Views

An insightful opinion piece in the NY Times described Trump as a TV character, not a real person. He just wants attention and feels aggrieved because there is never enough attention for his ego. Makes too much sense.

But there is hope for 2020 as the act gets old. Trump has pissed off so many for so long.

Look at how many GOP house members are leaving the sinking ship like the rats they are.

Trump will fail and take down the GOP, as they deserve.

Do not ask why Trump is so keen on chaos. Just hunker down, resist and wait out the cancellation of the reality show character. Come January 2021 the national nightmare will end. As long as the courts and the military stay loyal to the U.S. Constitution Trump will have to go. The return to normal human behavior and decency will require years, but it will occur.

Hurricanes do not last forever and neither does Trump chaos. We rebuilt after the Civil War and after WW II. Trump is not as horrible as those disasters. Trump cannot pass much bad legislation with the Dems control of the House of Reps. He can screw with foreign policy but that can be reversed by the next Prez. 14 months to Nov. 2020. That amount of time goes by quickly.

Do not lose faith in the human spirit despite the evil that is Trump. We got an expensive lesson. Learn from the experience.
3 Comments
90 day fiance
Posted:Sep 8, 2019 5:17 am
Last Updated:Sep 16, 2019 8:17 am
277 Views

Ninety day fiance is a an eye opening and disturbing TV show about the culture clash between American citizens and their proposed spouses from other lands. The age gaps, the clash in world views and the difficulties when people do not share the same language and world outlook are on full display. Add time pressures to get married quickly and you have stress and conflict.

Some a marriage just to get a green card. Sometimes the U.S. citizen runs away after being or other consideration to sponsor an alien. Lots of pitfalls in this path.

Better to meet an alien in the U.S. who is a visitor or student than to import one on a ninety day fiance visa in my opinion. The time stress on a ninety day visa is too much.

Also better is living abroad for a year or more and marrying a local, then trying to get the green card for the spouse to return to the U.S.
0 Comments
Civet poop coffee?
Posted:Sep 8, 2019 5:08 am
Last Updated:Sep 16, 2019 8:17 am
274 Views

I agree with PETA civet poop coffee is unethical and overpriced.

Kopi luwak is made from the beans of coffee berries have been eaten and excreted—yes, you read right!— the Asian palm civet. To make this coffee, the civets are typically snatched from their homes and life in the wild to be imprisoned alone in tiny, barren cages. They’re deprived of everything is natural and important to them, including freedom, exercise, space—even real food. They bite at the cage bars, turn in circles, and go insane from being imprisoned with no escape. Deprived of adequate nutrition, they begin to lose their fur. All of this cruelty is just for a novelty coffee sold companies such as Amazon.com. We’re asking the company, as a leader in global online retail sales, to learn the ugly truth behind this coffee from this recent investigation and end the sale of kopi luwak.

A PETA Asia investigator visited civet coffee farms in Indonesia and the , two of the world’s top producers of kopi luwak. Undercover footage from these farms—some of which falsely advertise their coffee as “wild-sourced”—shows sick, depressed civets suffering from infections and exhibiting signs of zoochosis, a stress–induced neurotic condition causes captive to spin, pace, and bob their heads in constant frantic displays of frustration.
0 Comments
Do not hate the poor in understanding
Posted:Sep 3, 2019 7:03 am
Last Updated:Sep 5, 2019 4:24 am
561 Views

Just because they are trying scam you out of lots of money. Why hate the criminals?
What would Jesus do? He did get mad at the money changers in the temple, but generally he was a forgiving sort.

What about those who claim to live in Los Angeles and then turn out be in Africa needing money to get back home Los Angeles? They left out the local part.

Perhaps they are just poor at geography. They do not teach that in school anymore. Easy to confuse Africa and California. They are only about two thousand miles apart.

I am willing to contribute to the price of the air fare , only when I can hand it over to my new lover. So far that rule has kept the money in my pocket. Hard get laid in this world.

I do not do long distance love relationships as I want actual human sexual contact. If I wanted to masturbate to porn I can do that without a fake relationship.
3 Comments
mass murders
Posted:Sep 2, 2019 8:40 pm
Last Updated:Sep 3, 2019 6:49 am
517 Views

Rationality is clearly absent when people think about gun deaths. The fuss over random murders is useful, but irrational. If each person is important, then more dead should be more important. So far in 20 the Justice department reports about 650 dead from mass murders with guns, meaning three or more killed not counting the gun killer.

So far about 20,000 gun suicides have happened in the U.S. this year.

We should be far more concerned about gun suicides than mass random killings.

Killers and suicides are sparked by depression, not psychotic insane people. Not video games, not insanity, not even politics. No, killing is by depressed men, without hope.

We need break the chain of depression with treatment and hope. Lets focus on the big picture. Fewer guns, and remove guns from depressed men. treat depression will a lot of people stay alive. The depressed and random folks.
0 Comments
Blinded by the light movie
Posted:Sep 2, 2019 5:29 am
Last Updated:Sep 9, 2019 7:23 am
549 Views

“Blinded by the Light,” is a little movie that has beauty in its core. Gurinder Chadha ’s coming-of-age drama transmutes the raw feeling of Bruce Springsteen ’s music into another kind of feeling, no less raw but full of giddy excitement and joy.

The movie is set in 1987, a period of austerity in Margaret Thatcher ’s Britain; the setting is Luton, a manufacturing town stricken by recession. Javed (Viveik Kalra), a British of Pakistani descent, wants to be a poet but, lonely and depressed, he’s off to an unpromising start writing songs about nuclear war. Chadha’s exuberant “Bend It Like Beckham” almost two decades ago was proof “that movies with feel-good formulas don’t have to be deadening or demeaning.” The here which covers similar cultural territory. The heroine of the earlier film is a British girl of Indian descent who wants to be a soccer star. Both must contend with rigidly conservative immigrant parents and prejudice against Asians—dangerous prejudice, in Javed’s case, since soaring unemployment has spawned violent nativist gangs.

But the big difference here, courtesy of The Boss, is the power of his passionate songs to lift the melancholy high-school student’s spirits, stiffen his spine and fire his imagination.

Javed discovers Springsteen by a chance encounter with a classmate, Roops ( Aaron Phagura ), who turns him on to some of the songs and lends him cassettes of the essential albums. Javed has a quasi-religious revelation. Springsteen in 1987 may be ancient history for some; Javed hears a god transmitting instructions for living a good and generous life. The film transcends mere reality to show the power of music to remake Javed through ecstasy.

The screenplay, written by Sarfraz Manzoor, Ms. Chadha and Paul Mayeda Berges, was loosely based on a memoir by Manzoor who idolized Bruce Springsteen. In real life The Boss responded to the book by contacting its writer, and later gave his blessings and music permissions to Ms. Chadha’s production.

This movie is an endearing portrait of the making of an artist. This little movie is a big feel good winner. A must see in my opinion.
1 comment
Getting older
Posted:Aug 29, 2019 8:23 am
Last Updated:Aug 29, 2019 8:49 am
812 Views

Why stay with adultfriendsfinding.net when it does not deliver? Good question. Force of habit and the triumph of hope over experience. The promises are laughable, as any sane person knows.

Still adultfriendsfinding.net offers some fun stuff at modest .

Most of the action seems to focus on BBC and the unicorn bi women.

I do not have eight inches, not do I aspire to lug around such.

I have known some tight women who made me feeling like I was well endowed, but that was just an illusion.

When I want attention from young women I just go shopping for men clothes at Nordstrom and I get plenty of interest. That is what capitalism is good for!
1 comment

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